Currently Listening Phantom Planet By Phantom Planet Turn Smile Shift Repeat see related

Well... Nothing has happened since last time.. We are doing the Freshman Orientation play in Drama.. And that's a little exciting.. But we had to bank our last 3 days of fun..

This might all just be PMS.. but it doesn't feel like it..

Well I was thinking mostly in the car ride to Columbia.. and I was just pissed off.. I hate how everything goes wrong with my life.. And I'm fed up... This is aimed at.. a couple people.. I don't want to count because I'm kinda pissed off... And they might know who they are once I type-up something about them.. And this is mostly to get some of this out of my system.. I can't stand them right now... Damn!

Okay Persona Number 1.. Where did you come from anyways!? I mean.. Get out of my life.. I don't like you.. I don't choose to hang out with you.. You just appeared in the "group" and everyone welcomed you with open arms.. But I swear that you aren't right for anything.. Maybe it is just me.. but I seriously hate you.. I don't care about crap with your other friends or whatever is on your phone.. and I seriously would rather not see you ever again.. but can't change that right?

Persona Number 2.. Yeah.. I'm writing something about you. You who I thought were always nice and angelic.. But you aren't.. You are just a plain ass and I don't know why I actually found a friend in you. I'm tired of waiting around and saving tables at lunch... And I'm tired of wasting my time sitting and talking with you and the other people at our table.. Yeah they were all nice at first.. but I'm pretty much ignored.. and left.. Yeah getting lunch.. A little plot just to talk when I'm not there.. Well I'm NEVER going to fucken wait around anymore and hope for some little gossip and the little secrets I'm never in....

Person Number 3.. Yeah.. Same with you.. I hate how I actually thought you were a great friend... but I actually don't like you much... You are so self-centered.. I talk rarely to you on AIM and you ask me if I'm talking to all these other people.. and they don't even talk to me willingly so just.. GR! And you tell me to shut up and ignore me mostly.. and you don't even answer some of my invitations.. and I just want to erase all that from my memory.. but that's like impossible now isn't it?

Now.. I might be friends with them in a week.. but not right now.. I'm not sitting with them in the morning or at lunch.. or acknoledging them unless I have to...and some other things... This is turning out like the note I wrote...

I write Persona 3 notes all the time.. and I never get a reply.. and I must've spent forever writing notes while I should have been listening or doing my homework in Algebra 2.. but I don't understand why all the little persona group passes around notes and drawings and they say they don't have time.. FUCK THAT! I don't give a damn anymore..... And how I'm usually invited to some things because I am standing there... JUST TELL ME TO GO THE FUCK AWAY! Damn... I hate them all! And how I was forgotten on my birthday.. Hey that was like a month ago.. but I mean.. That was like a milestone in my life.. I haven't had that many of them.. and I was talking about it some days before.. and I wasn't remembered until the end of school and all I get was a sorry and a little tiny present 2 weeks later.. Ha yeah.. while persona 2 got presents, cards, muffins, candles, and some chocolate milk... Yeah... All on her birthday...

Sometimes girls can just freaking f-up the world.. That's why I don't like them usually.. This reminds me of the Burn Book in Mean Girls.. .I should just scream! I feel like I'm really tearing up inside... Where is camp when you need it? I screamed my fill there and it got every emotion out... Why can't I just escape.. Why does Fall Conference have to be soo far away. When I get there.. I'll just escape what my "reality" is...

They just Turn.. Smile.. Shift.. Repeat.....

Currently Listening You Could Have It So Much Better By Franz Ferdinand Do You Want To see related

Well.. I decided to update. .This week has been soo hectic.. And last night made me awesome-if-ied..

Cut rocked.. Congrats guys... we were awesome...

Anybody for tea gets some props too... because they actually looked like old ladies..

This is diriculus..I need some more sleep... And I swear that I will never wear that much makeup because I felt soo... ew...

I think I'll just hang out at home the rest of the day.. And look at halloween costumes and watch some Lifetime movies.. If you want to do anything, then call (295-3037) and I'll try to do it..

You know this reminds me of when I was a little girl. I went fishing with my father. It's weird, but I remember the seagulls.... They looked like delicate little clouds.....

Well the layout is practically changed.. I mean the words.. and the song.. I'm addicted to that song.. Thanks Brandon and Jay.. They were in there early playing their air guitars and like singing.. Tomorrow definatly I'll be pumped to dance around....Cut rules...

Whatcha doing Saturday.. If your answer isn't going to Cut and Anybody for tea, then you aren't cool.. And don't get ANY SNAPS EVER!.. 8:00 October 1st.. 3 dollars...

The O.C. will be awesome.... AND IS AWESOME!

Early release tomorrow.. What a loser.. Who gives an early release on a Wednesday? What loser thought of that...

What made my day, you ask? Lord Fartwad in English... Yeah.. about to pee in my pants there.. It only sounds like Fartwad and is Farquad...Gah.. good times..

If anyone wants to go to Homecoming with me.. I'd me joyed.. depends on who you are.. How about I go with friends? Maybe?

And we can do 2 shows.. and if still people don't get in we will stay up 'till one in the morning and do 3! or 4!... I'd totally do it.. Seriously..

I'm pumped... That's why I am awesome? Well I need to go like.. pick out my Drama outfit.. What would a teenage girl wear? Hmm.. .That's a hard one..

DRAMA SHIRTS TOMORROW! That makes my week!

That's a basic philosophical question... Is it better to be wealthy and handsome and die young.. OR short and smelly and get stepped on by a horse.. but not die? Oh that's a hard one....

Currently Listening Feast on Scraps [Enhanced CD & Live DVD] By Alanis Morissette Fear of Bliss see related

So.... I think I feel sick.. not just because I am getting sick..

So when you fall, there should be a warning that you will hit the ground sooner or later... or never.. but mine is most likely sooner.. Like today..

Do you know how sometimes you just want to hit stupid preppy losers that steal up all the guys? Well...Watch out.. That is specifically aimed at someone in my Algebra class...

I hope I don't have a panic attack because I was reading something on a website about them.. and other people have them and do the same thing.. But they take drugs for that.. As long as mine start not going close together, then I'm fine...

Yeah.. If you ever get panic attacks.. just talk to me.. and I might help calm you down, but if I have them, I won't calm down.. It took me like 5 hours to calm down to make it go away...

I might throw up soon.. Thaat's what I get for waiting too late.. It's not like it meant anything.. but I meant something to me.. Oh well.. I always lose.. Rule of life....

I could be golden
I could be glowing
I could be freedom
But that could be boring
Sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of losing you

I’ve tried to be small I’ve tried to be stunted
I’ve tried roadblocks and all
My happy endings prevented
Sometimes I feel it’s all just too big to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do

Sometimes I just want to scream.. but there aren't any good places to.. If it rains tonight.. I'll just stand in it and try to make sense of anything...Why does my head have to be clouded? I need to know! Why can't I make anything right? Why can't I have what I intend to have?

It's all just a big prank.. my life should straighten out from all these speedbumps and sharp curves...

Currently Listening Jagged Little Pill By Alanis Morissette Head Over Feet see related

Okay.. Well all in all things are better..

Maybe I'll have a date for homecoming tomorrow?.. Thanks to Chana.. and my cousin Whitney.. Guys are too confusing.. and they say girls are.. Well we are if you don't speak our language...

Gah.. I'm falling head over heels and I can't catch my breath. I'm falling too hard grab hold of the edge of the cliff....

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Well I hope things go as planned tomorrow...

JOOI club meeting tomorrow...Bleh.. I hope it isn't boring.. I think I should run for secretary.. but like.. I don't know...

So today.. I went to the orthodontist... They overcorrected one thing.. But they said that was okay.. And I only have to wear 1 rubberband... and I might get them off in like December? I'm excited..

I had the worst Claustrophobia break down.. Well I didn't break down.. I was about to though.. My heart was racing... I was looking at the walls and they looked like they were closing in.. and then I felt like I was suffocating.. Gah.. It was scary..

So last night.. I found out that the persona that I liked.. well.. that I'm falling for... Was on my sheet stupid survey we took last year.. Those were hilarious...

You are a gift renaissance with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies as balm for all stars

Well our plays are in like... Well they're next weekend...I'm excited... Especially since I get a beer and act all... teenagery... But like not me..... I just don't want Drama to be a bore since we finished our plays early...

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

Well.. I really like Alanis Morissette... She isn't just for broken hearted people.. They are really good songs...I really should get the CD...

I just want it to rain..Then during lunch I'd dance in it.. Seriously.. As long as I don't wear a white shirt.. tomorrow... Or Friday... I love the rain...

Aside from the randomness, I don't have any more to say.. My life is summed up here...Um... I'm doing okay in school? Fall ball is great.. I'll get my permit Monday! YAY! Um.. Homecoming determines my year? Well not really.. That's kinda like New Years, but not?

Tay3769: the guy needs to ask u!
MyLifesAlterego: Yeah.. Well.. I don't like waiting..
MyLifesAlterego: I'm too impatient.... And if I don't ask I might never get asked.. and I don't want a stupid redneck or loser weirdo as my date.. so...yeah
Tay3769: yeea alright i understand

Yeah my cousin is awesome... He better come up soon to visit. Maybe.. Christmas is soon right?  And I seriously am impatient...  Except for when I HAVE to be..

It all depends on tomorrow...Please say yes! Gah.. Waiting kills... But still curiosity killed the cat.. .So... That's why you get a friend cat to do your bidding? And then if it all fails, then you don't die.. and if it doesn't YOU STILL WIN! Minions.. Gotta love them.. (Just kidding.. I don't have any of those )